Experiments

“Life is an experience to be carried as far as possible”- Georges Bataille. This was my favorite quote at the end of high school all the way through my 20’s. Bataille was a writer in early 1900’s France. While he recieved a lot of scorn and ridicule from more well known writers, namely Sartre, though posthumously he influenced Foucault and Derrida. His writings dealt with everything from economics to Surrealism. The common theme in almost all of his writings that I have read is an extravagance of the vices. In my early 20’s this was intriguing. Here was a famous intellectual granting permission to experience everything I could get my hands on. Word Up!

Following this quote as a mantra, I learned a whole lot about the possibilities of this body. It is possible to live on nothing but Schlitz and chicken wings for a 3 day weekend. It is possible to walk from Everest Base Camp to Namche Bazaar in a day without food. My body became a vessel for audacious experiments. It is quite resilient, this body. I am still amazed that it still bends and flexes and moves without complaining much. For this I need to thank my corporeal self.

In my experience with drugs and intense physical tests, I have found that a certain detatchment became constant. An ignorance of what I was doing to my body. More specifically what i was doing to myself. This detatchment wasn’t some Zen epiphany, actually it was the opposite. My body was simply a beaker, a litmus paper that ‘I’ could use.

Over the years this detatchment produced a confidence that could only come from the naive. By not tuning into my body, not listening to it, I forgot something. I’m still working on what that is.

So this past weekend in Ojai I went to some more teacher training. It was billed as a time to drop into oneself. Not really knowing what I was getting into, I put together 6 vinyasa series emphasizing my love of backbends and arm balances. In my mind, dropping into myself meant deep asanas and a lot of sweat. Its hard for me to think I can find something if I’m not struggling. I was pleasantly surprised at the yin sequence that opened the weekend.

Batailles quote in my head meant intensity, extravagance and pushing boundaries. Experience was not casual. My yoga practice started to mimic this notion. I spend a lot of time on my hands or bent backwards and I don’t know why. And though my practice tends to be very yang, there has been a constant nudging towards stillness and quiet. Recently standing balance poses have been grabbing my attention. Spinal stability is becoming more of an issue than spinal flexion.Still, I don’t know why.

Kira set up an experiment for us. We had lifesized outlines of our bodies next to us during a free flow asana session. Of course, I set up immediately for some arm balances and then I waited a bit. I felt real strange just sitting there reining in the urge to lift into galavasana. I did notice something in my hands though. A swelling in the palms that runs up my inner arms to the front of my chest just under the ribs. After a few times pressing up onto my hands the feeling abated and I fell into a lot of forward folds.

Yoga as experiment really appeals to me. Each pose is endless. Crow for example, bent arms, straight arms, knees resting on the arms, knees lifted by the core, fingers forward, sideways or backwards, hips below the shoulders, hips even with the shoulders. The physical representation is endless, I’m going to guess the ‘other’ representations would be endless as well.